Sleep? What's that?

I am sleeeepy. Got home from rehearsal at around 11:10 p.m.... tried to get right in bed but had a few things to do. Then when I did get in bed, I couldn't sleep. Antsy. I hate that feeling.

Rehearsal last night went OK. I'm getting better but I feel the clock ticking down on my really doing it right. This show opens in 3 days! Being anything but perfect does not appear to be an option. I don't think that's just my own thing, either. I mean, everyone is still being nice, but this is not amateur hour here. It's a tiny theater but still. It matters that it's done right. Yeah, I'm getting all weird about it, but they've worked hard and I really feel the need to prove I can do this. Oh, man, gotta stop writing about it or I'm going to totally screw up just because I'm building it up so much.

Once we turned off the lights and the radio and the fan and got down for some serious sleeping, I just couldn't get comfortable. Then when I finally did fall asleep, I had a weird dream about my friend Bo getting a Toyota Prius (in reality he drives a beat up old red Ford Tempo. Bo, who is a dear friend, has issues with reality) and in the dream, I had to listen to his long explanation of the engine... There was something else in there but boy, I can't remember now. Anyway, I was fine all morning but now I am tired.

Last week I decided to give up the fast food. However, that resolution lasted exactly 8 days, because today I went to McDonald's for lunch. Yeah, it could've been because I only had $4 but it could've also been because I'm cold in my office (as I am every day... it's really really freezing up in there) and it's cold in the cafeteria, and I wanted to get out of the building and soak up some sun. Anyway, I cut back on my usual order (you really don't want to know what my "usual order" is) but I'm sure it's more fat and crap than I should be eating. Well, no dinner tonight due to rehearsal (and I am staying away from the huge container of redvines, put out by the director for us to snack on, because it might've been those that kept me up last night. Well, I can't think of anything else to blame it on), so that's something. Something bad, yes, but something.

My last day is in two days. All day people have been cruising through the office to see other people and they all stop and say to me, "What are you still doing here?" Ha. Like that joke never gets old. I'm nervous about my new job. They better be nice to me or I'm coming back here. I keep thinking of when I left the Rizzoli in SM for the one in Costa Mesa, which was supposedly closer to home. Not only were the people full of themselves (David managed to hire people in SM with mostly normal attitudes and egos), the girl showing me around announced that, along with the regular supplies, she would order candy because "we deserve it." And that the staff would expect me to do the same. Um, hello? Could this be the reason these stores all closed? Anyway, I lasted there one day, and wept on the way home (by the way, the traffic going north on the 405 at 6 p.m. is way worse than the traffic going south), after calling David and Bo and weeping on them too, begging to be allowed back.

Which I was, because David was the nicest boss, ever.
I miss those guys!

Lighting/Sound Operator

Tonight was my third time in the booth (but the first time doesn't really count). I've run the complete show twice now, once last night and once tonight. It seems to get easier each time; and the word from the director's husband (the lighting designer, and expert) has been encouraging. I'm enjoying seeing this show (IPHIGENIA), which is so different from my show (THE BACCHAE), and I really do like being in the booth. It's interesting, and challenging, and actually a lot more nerve-racking than being on stage was, but I think in time I'll feel more comfortable. There are a couple of things I still need to work out, but after just twice in there, I'm feeling like I'm starting to get it. There are a few scenes we ran more than once, not just for me, but for the actors, and every time we re-did something it seemed smoother and my breathing seemed more normal. Funny how nervous and antsy I get up in there.

And I really want to please these people.

That hit me tonight: how much I want to do a good job. Yeah, for me, but also: to please them. I think that's something I need to think about some more.

Recap

I'm not reading anything, watching anything, listening anything, or thinking about anything I haven't already listed in this space previously.

Well, maybe I am, but not going to tell you about it today. Ha!

Instead, I think I'm gonna go have an entire mini watermelon all by myself for breakfast. Delicious.

"All clear"

My mom told me, briefly, this morning - her CT scan was evaluated, and her doctor has proclaimed her "all clear." While the words "no more cancer" weren't exactly spoken, still! All clear!

All clear. All clear! All clear, all clear!