Decisions, decisions

So, it's no secret that things have been a little weird at work lately. I got a promotion, and when I tell people, I sort of make apologies for it (not because I think what I'm saying is so amazing, or from some fake sense of modesty, but because, hey, I am proud I'm not a secretary anymore) - I was promoted from Senior Secretary II to Administrative Assistant II, and I think in most other workplaces, Administrative Assistant is a pretty euphemism for Secretary. However, there are real, actual differences, including but not limited to, pay but also the level of duties, responsibilities. There's a thing called a job spec that if I could share with you, you would understand better what I mean. However, to make a long story short, there is a difference, it is supposed to be a promotion, a raising of the bar. The places an AA II can go are a bit different than what's expected from a secretary.

But because my actual job has some flexibility, I am able to remain in my prior position, working for the same boss, but with a new job title. That's all that's going to change.

To me, though, this seems like a great opportunity to make some changes, some improvements, for me to learn things outside the scope of my job as a secretary... and I have a feeling it's not going to happen. There's a lot of upheaval in my job right now - last week my boss distributed a memo that outlined a lot of movement in our unit, some of which none of us saw coming, though, did she mention my promotion? No, but she did mention the promotions of others. Nice. When I got the promotion, I made a point of asking my boss if she had any plans of changing my job duties or her expectations, but she didn't have the time to meet with me then (she was going on vacation and was slammed that week), and obviously we still haven't met. She did take the time to review the tasks and standards list she'd given me when I first started working for her (I emailed her the Word document), but all she did was change one tiny thing (I don't even remember), and she didn't change the title (the word "Secretarial" is in caps, and bolded, at the top of the page).

I was talking about this with some friends, and some of them I think misunderstood what I'm trying to say, so I'd better be clearer. I am not complaining about my work load, though I do a lot. I don't think I'm doing too much or want easier tasks. But I do think I should be given the opportunity, with a change in title, to learn something, to have the opportunity to gain some skills that if I ever did leave this crazy position and this crazy department would actually be of some use to me. And I also think that my boss's actual secretary, a woman who has been around forever and has a lot of knowledge but is surprisingly inefficient, gets away with murder. She's so totally nice and likable, though, that her total ineptness somehow is charming and sweet. Really, I don't know how she does it. Bottom line, though, she's no help whatsoever.

The upheaval is pretty upsetting to me, too. A lot of people are moving around to different titles and positions, and I'm a little unsure if the changes are for the better or to avoid people from causing a ruckus (people like to cause a ruckus at my job). I don't want a ruckus. I just want a clear direction, and I'm not getting it.

I talked to Patrick about this, and he knows a few other details and we had sort of decided that I would stick it out for another six months to let things settle and to figure things out. Then yesterday, on my way out of the office, I got a call from one of the departments in our area (all the other calls I've been getting have been for departments based in downtown LA, a commute I've done before but would never do again), and now I'm back to figuring out what I should do. On the one hand, a new start would be a relief. There would be no question about what is expected of me. But on the other hand, there's the matter of loyalty, and of finding out what my current job is going to be after crazy time is over. If crazy time is ever over.

So. Thinking. And... craving ice cream.

...

Oh! Over the weekend, Patrick and I went to downtown Long Beach to check out a couple of furniture stores (we really need a new couch). One of the stores we visited was this huge place on LB Blvd. - I found somethng I could've lived with (leather, though, black) but Patrick wasn't sold on it, and then we started debating what it was, exactly, we were looking for in a couch (a conversation that might've been more civil had it not been so goddamn hot in there). Anyway, we were walking through, looking at everything that wasn't a couch, when we both heard it:

Words we sort of recognized, set to a beat and a melody that were totally foreign. Phrases that had been kind of a big deal in our childhoods (is there a plural of "childhood"?). It was disturbing and at the same time, oddly fascinating. We sat down in the middle of the store, even though we were both sweating and my nose was running.

The song? "Comfortably Numb," covered by the Scissors Sisters. Both the best and the absolute worst thing I have ever heard. The clip hardly does it justice.