First (and probably last) silly list of questions of the year

I found these questions on the blog of a woman who appears to have a crush on Stewart Copeland, and I decided that answering them would be interesting. Well, for me. You have to make up your own mind. Anyway, this other woman who likes Stewart is also funny, and interesting and un-hateable. So. Jane? I hope Jon Hamm calls you right before Stewart calls me, because I would hate to fight you. Really. I would hate it, but I would do it.

Here we go!

Where did you take your profile pic?
I think it was taken in the bathroom.

What exactly are you wearing right now?
Black boots, a pair of Patrick's black Christmas socks, greenish-brown pants, black sweater over a black tank top, black panties and bra, my watch, wedding ring, hair thing around my right wrist, a black metal barrette (it was early when I dried my hair this morning), hundred-year old Banana Republic earrings that I am always wearing, glasses, face of sleepiness, Essie nail polish "Cherry Pop."

What is your current problem?
Do I have to go to tomorrow night's pickup rehearsal for the Trojan Women? Do I have time (i.e., money) to get my flute fixed before flute choir starts? Was my last post on my Stewart Copeland blog too personal?

What makes you happy most?
When Patrick and I are cruising down some highway with metal or weird jazz or Captain Beefheart on the radio and he's explaining some musical/alien lifeform/complicated computer/politics-related thing to me.

What's the name of the song you're listening to?
"Because the Night," by Patti Smith. Just in my head, though.

Any celebrity you would marry?
Yes, but only with Patrick's permission.

Name someone with the same birthday as you
I can't think of anyone with the exact same birthday, but Patrick's cousin Adrian's birthday is right around mine and he's an amazing guitarist and excellent person, and so for those reasons alone, I name him now at your request: Adrian Esparza, you have been named.

What this means, I have no idea.

Ever sing in front of a large audience?
If what I did to those Stevie Nicks songs at karoke counts as "singing," and if the 20 or so people at The Scarlet Lady who saw/heard me do it count as a "large audience" (less, probably, because I think some of them were playing pool), then, yes. Or did you perhaps mean all the people who saw me singing along with Patti this morning on the 710? Or the two friends who received a recording of me singing the first three lines to "Blue Moon" in their inbox on New Year's Eve (neither has acknowledged receiving that particular message; maybe they're playing "if we pretend this never happened," which could be okay, because I sort of forgot the melody by the middle of the second line)...

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Not really. Andrea has a photo of a little girl from a Quaker Oats ad she claims looks like me... but she's hardly a celebrity. In fact, I think she's a drawing. So? No.

Do you speak any other languages?
Nope.

Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
Yes.

Do you ever watch TV?
All the time.

What's something that really annoys you?
Self-righteousness, parking lots that ignore the fact that pedestrians will be using them once they get out of their cars; when people come visit me at work and they stand right behind my chair; that it takes five guys/girls at Subway to make my sandwich. Wouldn't it go much faster if just the one guy did it and I didn't have to tell everybody in the damn store what I want five times?

Middle name?
It was Laura. Now it's Casarez.

Nickname(s):
Bean, Beanie, Beans, Goofball, Dumbass

Current location:
Super-secret location

Eye color:
Brown

Do you get along with your parents?
Yes, most of the time.

Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married. And still sweet on each other.

Do you have any siblings?
Two brothers, a sister

Ice cream
Sure. Chocolate malted crunch, please.

Season
I live in LA., so whatever season means 72 degrees, not too windy, that's fine with me, thanks.

Shampoo/conditioner
Whatever Nina tells me to use

Dance in the shower?
Oh, yeah. I need a new tub mat - almost took a spill yesterday.

Do you write on your hand?
Mostly unintentionally - I'm left handed and sometimes it drags on the ink. Made that calligraphy class I took in 1991 lots of fun.

Call people back?
Yes. I hate answering the phone but not actually using it.

Believe in love?
Of course.

Any bad habits?
Idealizing people

Any mental health issues?
Hmmm... maybe a tiny bit.

Broken a bone?
You mean, of my own?

Sprained stuff?
Probably.

Had physical therapy?
No.

Gotten stiches?
I don't think so.

Taken painkillers?
No. Well, Advil.

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling?
Snorkled in our little backyard pool - it's fun! But the ocean is scary.

Been stung by a bee?
Yes! My finger swelled to about three times it's normal size. I might be allergic.

Thrown up at the dentist?
No. Eww.

Sworn in front of your parents?
Maybe.

Had detention?
Yep. PE infractions, and once I got caught leaving school, um, during school.

Last movie seen?
At the theater: I have no idea, it's been so long.
On my laptop: "The Answer Man"

Last three people to text you?
Angie, Andrea, Patrick

Last person you called?
FM

Last person you hugged?
My niece Diana

Last person you tackled?
Patrick

Last thing you touched?
Dictionary

Last thing you ate?
Veggie subway sandwich

Last thing you drank?
Diet Coke

Last thing you said:
"Okay! See you Friday, then!"

Were you named after anyone?
Yes, but I didn't know that person.

When was the last time you cried?
Sometime last week. Hey, "The Answer Man" gets kind of touchy-feely.

Do you like your handwriting?
Under specific conditions, yes.

What is your favorite lunch meat?
I have recently foresworn meat of any kind (well, let's be specific: of the animal kind), including that of the sub-category "lunch." However, were this a perfect world where I could eat the meat without killing the animal, I would probably say turkey.

Do you have kids?
Yes. Three cats. Allow me to introduce you to Puma, Dora, and Franny.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
This question is all kinds of wrong.

Do you use sarcasm?
Ocasionally, to great comic effect.

(Did you believe me?)

Do you still have your tonsils?
I think so. Lemme check.... yes.

Would you bungee jump?
Yes, but I'd be scared. And then I'd probably want to do it again. But let's don't test this: I'd rather think I'd do it than be faced with it in reality and find out that I'm chicken.

What is your favorite cereal?
"Magic Shapes," aka, fake Lucky Charms. I really just like the groovy wizard guy on the box.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

What is your favorite number?
3. It's the magic number.

What is the first thing you notice about a person?
Them, as a whole. Then the shoes. Then the nose. Then the smile.

Red or pink?
It really depends upon which red and which pink we're talking about, and what the application is going to be. As a rule, probably red. But there are pinks that I like, too.

What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
I'm always smiling at myself in mirrors.

Who do you miss the most?
--

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?
Didn't I answer this already? Green-brown, black. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which.

What are you looking forward to about tomorrow?
Possibly carpooling to Santa Monica. That it's one day closer to Friday.

What are you listening to right now?
Patti Smith, Green Day, Klark Kent

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Beaver. (Shut up. That's a real color.)

Or how about Green Blue?
I like Green Yellow, too.
Hot Magenta is pretty!
Manatee?
Orange Red?
Orchid?

Favorite smells?
Thanksgiving dinner, any kind of anything baking, lavender, the smell of people's clean laundry in the dryer when walking around my neighborhood in the evening; Franny; fresh breath on a guy; Patrick's Axe deoderant

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Wrong number.

Favorite sports to watch?
Cycling, sometimes baseball, figure skating, gymnastics, ultimate fighting with Patrick, most of the Olympics

Hair color?
Darkest brown possible.

Eye color?
Still brown, but thanks for checking up.

Do you wear contacts?
I did, a few times. I look better in glasses.

(No pun intended)

Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings

Last movie you watched?
We saw part of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" the other night.

Favorite food?
Popcorn.
Mexican.
Lobster.
Roast turkey.
Blackberries.
Pomegranates.

What color shirt are you wearing?
You sure are interested in my clothing! Black, black, black.

Summer or winter?
Both.

Hugs or kisses?
Kisses. And keep 'em coming.

What book are you reading right now?
I'm reading two books: the new John Irving novel, and a book about cymbals by a guy with a funny name.

What's on your mouse pad?
My mouse.

What did you watch on TV last night?
Iron Chef America; Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video with my niece and nephew

Favorite sounds?
Franny's purr, an in-tune flute choir, Patrick's drums, certain voicemail messages

Rolling Stones or the Beatles?
The Beatles!!

What is the farthest you've ever been from home?
France; my dreams

Do you have a special talent?
Probably not.

Where were you born?
Santa Monica

Who was your favorite teacher?
Joe Nazzaretta. Middle and High School band.

What's your secret?
To what? My shiny, flowing hair?

What's your biggest goal/dream?
Short term: For Stewart Copeland to come see a show at City Garage and take me out to dinner afterward, and for me to have good hair and not feel too fat at the time.

Long term: To figure out how I feel about not finishing college and either decide to go once and for all and shut up about it or not to go and to stop feeling bad about it.

Or I could just have a kid, right?

(That's a joke, people. Put the phone down.)