2 months old today!

Well, we made it - it's been 8 weeks since we brought our little guy home and as people say - time flies! I'm shocked at how different he is now. He's still pretty sleepy but staying up a lot more during the day. He has tummy time and smiles and even sometimes laughs - his smile is super cute. More than one person has commented on how serious he can be, and how "intense" his little stare gets. We joke that that's when he's "sucking your soul." He has lots of fans, including all the nurses at the Kaiser Downey OB department. And my midwife thinks he's the cutest.

When Patrick goes off to work, I'm usually feeding him, so when we're done, I cuddle him up in the bed with me and try to get a little more sleep, but usually at that point (7 a.m.) he's over sleeping, and ready to play. We hang out on the bed and he "talks" to me. It's very sweet. I love kissing him! He tries to kiss me back but his kissses are like round holes of sticky. Still: very, very cute. And today we tried something that a friend had suggested: even though I usually give him a bath in the evening, today I took a bath with him. He loved it! I didn't get very clean but we had fun.

After discussing my issues with breastfeeding with a couple of friends, and getting a lot of good advice and direction, this week I saw another (non-Kaiser) lactation consultant. She really helped us turn it around - I have a new technique for getting him latched that doesn't hurt at all. It's a little time consuming because I don't always get it right the first time but it's only been a couple of days - I think we'll get the hang of it. She assured me that when he gets bigger we won't have to do it that way anymore. I really don't care: no pain is awesome. She also assured me that his size is fine. She thought we were doing a good job, and she kind of fell in love with my baby - he has a way with people! And thanks to her (her name is "Ellen"), we're off that horrible "every two hours" schedule and on to an "every 3 hours" schedule. What a difference 1 hour makes, and I am not being funny.

Otherwise, we've been trying to stick to our daily routine of laundry and making the bed and cleaning the kitchen (I keep telling him I couldn't or wouldn't do any of that stuff were it not for him and his "help"), but this week was a little screwy - two doctor's appointments, visits from family... Next week I'll try to keep things calmer. He doesn't have his 2 month check up until next Wednesday but otherwise I'd like to stay around the house.

It's been raining here for the last couple of days and while I do love the rain and haven't really had to drive at all in it, I wish it would continue. Though: I'm cold!

Here's a photo of the three of us. My little family! Ignore my messy hair please.

Tuesday

Today was hard! Patrick switched days with a coworker so he couldn't go with me to my appointment with the lactation consultant. Jules was sweet all morning and for the drive there, and just when we got to Kaiser and I was getting all cocky about my parenting skills, he lost it in the parking lot and continued to lose it all the way to the office. I found a bathroom and changed his diaper but he was still pretty mad.

At my appointment, the consultant (her name is Ruth) weighed him and then had me feed him so she could weigh him again. She wasn't super happy with his weight. At his last appointment with the pediatrician, she noted that he was small but wasn't concerned.
Ruth, however, is concerned that I might not be making enough milk.

It's true that I've been having trouble with one side but he continues to eat and poop and pee, and though it hurts like he'll sometimes, I keep feeding him from that side. I have no choice, I know I have to. I saw my OB a couple weeks ago about the pain, and she wrote me a prescription for ibuprofen, which mostly helps. Ruth said that she thought it was only because I'm so determined to feed him that he's gained but that he should be doing better.

I was bummed. I mean, I can take fenugreek to increase my milk, and she can write me a prescription if that doesn't work, but, and this might just be me being tired, as nice and helpful Ruth has been, I kind of felt like I am failing to Properly Feed my child. I'm sure that wasn't her intention, she wants to help, but I got upset.

Anyway, I bought a pump, which I will need when I go back to work. I need to practice using it. I came home and took my ibuprofen, fenugreek, and prenatal vitamin, and a little while later, fed Jules. But now I'm questioning if I'm doing it right and worried he's going to be hungry. She also gave me a nipple shield to try for the pain, and it worked in her office but here at home, Jules hated it and kept crying so I sucked it up and took it off.

Patrick is on his way home, and I'm glad.

6 weeks old

On Friday, Jules had his six week birthday! But before I write more about him, I just wanted to say that I've been reading and thinking a lot about the earthquake, tsunami and horrible situation at the nuclear power plants in Japan - a little while ago I saw a photo at the Washington Post website of a little girl being tested for radiation, and that photo really horrified me and touched my heart. I'm hoping that the people of Japan can have some peace, rest, and a safe place to live very soon. You can help by making a donation to the Red Cross. http://www.redcross.org/. Or text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation using your phone.

These last couple weeks since I last wrote have been wonderful. I'm feeling like I'm finally starting to get a handle on being a mommy. Jules and I have our quiet days where we make the bed, do laundry, eat, and hang out, and then there are days when we have visitors, and those days are nice too. He's staying awake a little more during the day, and that means tummy time! He's been letting me take a shower, which has been a treat. We got as a gift a bouncy seat for him, and I put it in the bathroom and let him sit there where I can see him from the tub. I also discovered that he likes sitting with me on the swing in the backyard (not a kiddy swing). And we've been going for walks around the neighborhood using the Baby Bjorn or the stroller.

He seems to be changing his schedule, and he's been a little bit of a grumpy guy in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure that's normal baby behavior; I'm just glad he's not having full-on crying sessions or colicky symptoms. He's also been super hungry - breastfeeding has gotten a little easier, and though I love the closeness with him, it's still pretty painful. On Tuesday I have an appointment to visit Kaiser's lactation consultant to buy my breast pump. I think that will help. I just hope I didn't wait too long - I think I was supposed to start pumping three weeks ago! I don't know, I read so many things, it's hard to know sometimes what I'm "supposed to do." It will be nice for Patrick to be able to feed him and I know they'll both enjoy it.

Here's a photo I took this morning. He's super cute, if I do say so myself.