Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dumbest, funnest song ever

This morning on my way to work, I heard Van Halen's song "Panama" (it came on right after Missing Person's song "Mental Hopscotch," so you know I was listening to Jack FM), and I had a brilliant idea:

Somebody needs to arrange that song for flute choir. I've had this idea in my head forever that it would be cool to try to set up a (totally goofy) one-man band type thing - a flutist could play bass drum and maybe do some other things with the left foot... but the idea of a full-on flute choir playing "Panama," one of the, let's face it, stupidest songs ever written (what does "Panama!" even refer to? It's a love song? About a girl? About a car? A car called "Panama"? What?! The lyrics make no sense) cracks me up. It could be amazing. I mean, I'm certainly not the biggest Van Halen fan in the world, but their music is fun and silly and I was driving down the 710 when I heard this flute choir thing in my head... I mean, I'm not an arranger or composer, and my skills in that arena are zero, but here are my ideas (I'm getting this in writing in case someone else steals my mojo):

The melody (David Lee Roths's vocals) should be a full-on section -- at least 4 flutists, mostly in unison (though I think his voice is at least doubled, so there are probably some opportunities for some harmonies). They also get that cool "Panama!" part in the middle where the solo is ending.

The bass line is pretty monotonous but bass flutists are, I think, pretty used to that (sorry, guys). They're not all footballs, anyway, there are some eight notes and counting involved. I just looked at this and I have no idea what the weird numbers over the notes mean, but at least they get a solo in bar 74, and there's a little rhythm going on.

The cool part (which I, of course, envision myself playing) is the solo guitar line. Wow! I've never tried to listen and learn a rock and roll guitar line on flute (I can do this with some things but I was better at it when I was younger and had more time to fool around on my flute), but I think it might be really fun. The harmonic sections (if that's even what what he's doing is called? I am not up on my guitar terminology) would be AWESOME. I mean, Eddie is kind of a genius on guitar but I think that stuff is doable? (uh... I think) on flute. It should be a solo, except for the parts that clearly will require a secondary flutist to provide some harmonies, and maybe a little duet in there too.

The rhythm guitar parts could be covered by a couple of other flutists; there are chords and harmonies that would need to be in there, too, to keep it interesting.

But see, here's the best part: the person playing the guitar line could also sit there and play bass drum with their right foot. The bass drum part appears to be mostly one quarter note per beat a lot of the time, and I mean, come on, if you can read music, playing that part shouldn't be too hard... right? AND there's that little bit of double bass drum at the end... that could be TOTALLY RAD. It's not listed on the drum tablature I just looked at (at least, I don't think so), so maybe my ears are mistaken... but come on! You know that would be fun to see.

Wouldn't it?

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