Today at work, I was talking to my friend about joining a gym. She and I have had this conversation before, and she pretty much talked me out of it ("When will you go? Seriously? When will you go?"). She made a good point (repeatedly), but my friend is practically a supermodel - she goes to the gym regularly, and you know what? It shows. I sit on my ass for 10, 12 hours a day, and hey, guess what? That shows, too.
So today after work, even though I was wearing a cotton/wool blend cardigan and heels (and pants, don't forget the pants), and my sneakers and sweats were at home, I stopped by the local 24 Hour Fitness to see what I could see (I knew if I went home first I would get sidetracked by the leftover Domino's pizza from yesterday. Instead I decided to hold off until after the tour of the gym. And you wonder why I'm so chubby?). I checked them out online before I got there, and so was kind of hoping to score a 7-day free pass. Instead I got a tour, a sales pitch from two lovely people (Jaime, female, and Victor, her boss. He was a guy. Most people named Victor are male, or at least that has been my experience), and a 2-day pass. One of those 2 days is today, which, isn't going to happen. Going to the gym after eating three slices of Domino's deep dish pizza (mushrooms and pineapple, my favorite!) seems like a really, really bad idea.
Jaime took me on the tour, and the facility is actually a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There's a pool, a big area for all the treadmills (cleverly called "Treadmill Alley;" watch out for the well-cut hobos and alley cats there!), a bunch of weight lifting equipment, those scary machines, an upstairs with stair climbers (the stair climbers look like actual stairs. I have never seen this type of machine before. You're stepping on these never ending stairs. It seemed too literal to me, and sort of freaked me out. Jaime waited while I closed my mouth). There's also two types of saunas, a hot tub (full of men. I was standing there on the pool deck, in my work clothes, water dripping down the front of my shoe, and there's a big ol' huge hot tub full of men. None of them were particularly attractive, but still, can you see me in a hot tub with like 12 dudes? Where were all the girls?). So, while we're walking around, Jaime asked me all these questions about my fitness goals, and she was really nice. She asked me if I wanted to lose weight, and if so, how much. I said, "Well, realistically, I'd be happy with 10 pounds, but I should probably go for 20." Now, I don't know if they're trained to do this, but she cut 5 pounds off that right away and said, "Oh, no, you probably should stop at 15." Hello! Thank you.
After the tour, I sat down with her at her cubicle, and she started talking price. I was all, I want to come back tomorrow, and then I'll decide. Can I have my free pass now? But she isn't authorized to give out the free passes without involving her manager, the before-mentioned Victor.
Victor was a short guy, big muscles but not outrageous, about my age (Jaime was definitely younger, though, a bit thick around the middle. Also, this might be yet another trick they use, though I don't know how they figure it out. If some amazon woman had come out to talk to me I would've been too intimidated). He asked some of the same questions, and was really easy to talk to. I involved Jaime in my answers, and said things like, "Well, as I was telling Jaime here..." People like it when you include them, espeically when you're talking to their boss. Then he asked why I wanted to join a gym, and I started giving him bullshit answers (I had told Jaime the real reasons, like I want to tone up, and that I don't want to get old and fat). I mean, they weren't bullshit, actually, but I was being a bit silly. My favorite line? I said, "Well, you know, I'm getting a little older, and I'm finding that things just aren't where I thought I left them."
He laughed.
That's probably a part of their training too: laugh at the idiot's jokes, as long as they fork over the money.
Anyway, I think I'll go tomorrow and see if I can hang with it.
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