Me + Glee = Confusion

I haven't watched Glee in a while (maybe since the first season) because I got too annoyed with those kids and that stupid teacher and his weird tiny girlfriend with the food issues, but yesterday, my friend Kate on Facebook (she lives in Arizona and so gets to watch everything like an hour before the rest of us) who is also my friend Adam's mother, posted that this week's episode was a tribute to Whitney Houston, and that she liked it.

Since this is the woman who, when I was in the 12th grade, unwittingly introduced me to my favorite book ever ("A Prayer for Owen Meany," which I found in her bathroom, and no, you weren't home at the time Kate, but that was a very long time ago, so please forgive me for losing your page; also, I am re-reading "Owen" [again] and my copy is currently in the bathroom: how's that for full circle, or something), I thought, "Okay, if Kate liked it, maybe I'll see what those Glee kids are up to with the Whitney Houston," and since JP hasn't been going to bed until 9, I watched about the first 20 minutes of it.

Now I have questions.

A) Where was the kid in the wheelchair?
B) What the hell happened to Quinn? Is she now the "kid in the wheelchair"?
C) Where did the dreadlock kid come from? I think that guy went to high school with me. Also... and I know this is mean, but that kid is weird looking. He was weird looking in 1990 and he's weird looking now. Sorry! But I don't see the appeal.
D) How come Finn isn't playing the drums anymore?
E) When did Kurt get so grown up and handsome!?

and the MOST important question of all:

F) WHAT THE FUCK, AUTOTUNE? I was really disappointed with how mechanical the kids' voices sounded. And you know what? It didn't make any of them sound good. Can't these people sing? (I don't think I can keep calling them "kids" because aren't some of them in their late 20s?) No seriously, I thought these people were good singers to begin with, so why treat them like... untalented people? I didn't get it, I don't get it, I don't want to get it.

In other news, I was going to try to take JP with me to a La Leche League meeting tonight (I've been wanting to go but we were sick for the last two months, in case you don't remember, and I didn't want to expose a bunch of nursing moms with their little babies to THE COUGH), but then I saw that the kids (actual kids) on American Idol are doing all Queen songs tonight, and now my interest is peaked. I'm sure some of them will ruin those classic songs but I have an undeniable urge to see Phillip Phillips sing "Another One Bites the Dust" or "Don't Stop Me Now" or the totally ridiculous "Radio Ga Ga." And if nobody sings "Who Wants To Live Forever," I will give you a dollar!