Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Blindfolded, with both hands tied behind my back

Holy cow.
This was one of the most stressful four day weekend I've had, ever. Neither Patrick nor I have been sleeping. Want to know why?

Exton is teething. This time around it seems to be much harder on him then when he got his first teeth (four on the top, two on the bottom). He gets very cranky, clingy, and wants to nurse constantly. I think the teeth coming in now are the bottom ones next to the two he already has, and the molars. That seems like a lot of teeth at once for a little guy like him, no?

Two words: human pacifier.
Two more words: That sucks.

It sucks for everybody. (Pun not intended. Mention the pun and you will get kicked.)

He also had a slight fever starting Saturday, and I was keeping an eye on it and giving him Tylenol. Fevers are even more fun these days because of what happened last time. Late last night a friend on Facebook recommended switching to Motrin, so we're going to try that today.

Surprisingly, he slept pretty well last night. I, however, did not. He went to sleep around 8:30, and I, in a desperate attempt to get. out. of. the. house, went for a walk. It was a really pretty night, and I needed some razors, so I walked down to Walgreen's. I've been shaving my legs with the same crappy dull razor for about 2 weeks. It's about a 15 minute walk to Walgreen's. On the way back I walked through the park, which was a little creepy and I probably won't do it again, not at 9:30 at night anyway. Using my iPhone map, I dropped a pin and emailed it to somebody, in case I didn't make it back. When I got home, Ex had woken up and was in the living room with Patrick, watching TV. I took him back to his room, nursed him (some more), and he was almost asleep... and then he got all fussy on me. Patrick took over and had him in his crib in 10 minutes. I honestly don't know how he does that.

Then we talked for a few minutes about how fucking tired we are, brushed our teeth and got ready for bed. A wise friend to whom I was complaining about my lack of sleep reminded me (in a well-timed email) to take things one day at a time. This friend is both smarter and better looking than I am, so I tend to listen when they speak. You know, I know being attractive isn't supposed to matter, but I'm just going to spit it out: sometimes it does. Especially when it comes to childcare and parenting.

(I'm laughing right now but maybe you can't tell that I'm being silly. Still: my friend is pretty cute.)

Patrick went to snore/sleep on the couch and I got in bed, where I slept from about 10:30 until 12:30, when I woke up from the Bookstore Dream (Variation 102).

(Bookstore Dream: I'm working in a bookstore with my buddy Bo, with whom I worked in real life at Rizzoli. Each bookstore dream is a little different but that part is always the same. This one involved a creepy mansion type place, a guy having a stroke and then miraculously recovering while in the arms of my friend Bo, and me finding a huge wad of cash and checks from 2004. Drama!)

I don't know how I got dressed or showered or helped Patrick with Exton this morning. Apparently I drove here without killing anybody. Everything is making me giggle: the guitar in the second bar of "Smells Like Teen Spirit," the fact that my co-worker and I couldn't remember what day it was even though there's a big ass calendar less than 2 feet away from us, the fact that I have a meeting with my boss and her boss this afternoon at 1:30 and can't leave early. Some of these things really aren't that funny.

The good news is, I emailed my big Excel project to the person I needed to email it to (a day early). The bad news is, it's not perfect even though I might've sold it that way to my boss. Look, it's a shitty assignment. Maybe nobody will notice. Right?

Oh, and so what's up with that title up there? Those words came to me while parking my car. It's kind of how my brain feels, if it had eyes and hands. I'm moving slowly; I feel almost drunk. Have you ever used your nose to type on your iPhone? It works, you know. Try it.

and no, it has nothing to do with 50 Shades of Gray. Gross.

No comments:

Post a Comment