Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Police want you to get drunk, just like they did.

Dinosaur remains not included.
I got an email this morning from the Police, trumpeting the announcement of their new Synchronicity wine. I thought I'd have all kinds of ideas for things to say about it but on further reflection, I realized that my store of actual funny comments is pretty low today.

I'm not much of a wine drinker, and I'm really not a fan of celebrity products (come on; if you were invited to dinner with Sting and Trudie at one of their fabulous homes, do you think this is the wine they'd bring out for your enjoyment? Well. Maybe they would, if they were trying to get rid of you); the photo of Stewart, Sting and Andy that accompanied the email is unflattering to all of them except Stewart (Sting looks pissed; Andy's wig is crazy), and I'm just not in a good enough mood, even, to make fun of them (lovingly, of course) for this.

I do think they missed an opportunity to make a white wine inspired by Regatta de Blanc. I think it would've been a more natural connection, I mean, you'd think "Message in a Bottle" would be a wine marketer's dream, no?

Synchronicity (the album) makes me think of the tar pits and dessicated remains and skeletons and alienation and world destruction and crusts of bread and dying of thirst in the desert, spots on the sun and stalkers and crappy bass lines. None of these things, none of them I say!, inspire me to pop open a bottle of wine.

Thank god, because if they did, I'd be a drunk.
Stewart: I'll drink whatever you're pouring.
Sting: is it possible your arms are larger than your head?*
Andy: jeez, man.
 (Click here to order your bottle today!)

*Ah ha! I get it now!


  1. I'm in a gutter somewhere in the city swigging this from inside a brown paper bag.
    Every sip I take reminds me that I missed the reunion tour.

  2. Wait, I'm confused, are you in the gutter, or in the bag? :-)

  3. I'm in a bag, in the gutter sipping the bottle which is also wrapped in a brown bag and we are all nestled firmly in a warm taco.

  4. Ah, OK, then, it's the warm taco part that makes it all make sense.

    Yum is right.