Monday, November 15, 2010

Sweet dreams are made of this...?

Everybody I speak to about this tells me that it's a common enough phenomenon, but I have been blown away by the realistic and yet still incredibly crazy dreams I've been having. I guess the pregnancy hormones are in full force, because they've been pretty insane this week.

Here's the one from November 11th, which actually involves a dream within a dream:
I'm standing in my parents' back yard talking to my friend from the theater who is also my former co-worker at the bookstore. His name is Bo, and I'm talking to him about the dream I actually had the night before, where my friend Missy, who I've known since I was about five, and my other friend Tammy from Rizzoli turned out to be sisters (in real life, one is a dental hygienist, and one is married to a dentist) and my dream has made them, not only sisters, but also the daughters of Frederique and Charles from City Garage. Frederique and Charles, in my dream only, own an antique store in San Francisco, and the three of us were driving around San Francisco in a big old pick up truck with furniture piled in the back. I think if Tammy and Missy knew each other in real life, they would get along very well. I'm telling my friend Bo this dream while we're standing in my parents' backyard, which was also somehow the backstage area of the new theater space (City Garage is leaving it's alley space in Santa Monica but there will be an announcement soon about the new space; my parents' house or backyard will not be involved, I'm sure), and we were opening a new show that night that involved a whole Lion King type overture with music and children and live animals at the beginning and I was supposed to be the kid wrangler and get them on stage at the right time by watching for a cue from Charles that was just him opening the screen of my parents' bathroom window during audio cue 1.

I was being incredibly pissy about the whole thing, because apparently they waited until opening night to tell me about this complicated opening and as I was talking to Bo I also had to fold all the clothes that were on the clothesline.

We were standing there in my mom and dad's backyard on the lumpy grass with about 15 child actors sitting at a picnic table nearby, listening to Jeff (one of the actors from the theater, a very nice, patient man; he plays three key parts in the current show right now) giving them acting instructions, and my dad's yard looked the same as usual, with the patchy grass and beautiful orange tree in the corner, and my brother's motorcycles and bikes all over the place.

My friend Bo listened to me complain, and then he smiled at me and said it would be okay. Frederique came out and it was 10 minutes to showtime, and she reminded me that Charles was going to open the bathroom screen 15 seconds into audio cue 1, which I couldn't even hear from out in the backyard, and then I was supposed to send in the kids, and I was so mad at her, and acting like a brat, but she was being really nice and not really responding to my bad attitude. I told her that there was no way I'd see that screen open because for some reason I wasn't wearing my glasses and she said to just do it, baby, words she says to me before practically every show when I'm in the booth.

My friend went inside by using the patio door that goes into my brother Dan's room, and I was standing on the driveway between the house and the garage, surrounded by children holding live animals, and the kid standing closest to me was holding a snake that bit him. The kid said, hey, he never did that before, and sucked his finger and then I saw the screen open and I sent the kids inside my mom's galley kitchen to start the show.
Here's the dream from Saturday, November 13:
Patrick and I are riding in a giant bus - it's like those tour buses rock bands use, I guess, more like a huge RV. The bus or RV was driving in a mountain area, and the road was very windy and dangerous, with steep drop offs and trees growing everywhere, and we were so high up that there was a crystal clear blue lake beneath us that was like a tiny speck below. The bus or RV had a passenger seat next to the driver, which I don't think they usually do, and I was sitting there alone. Patrick was just behind me. The bus didn't have a real driver, we had instead put it on "autopilot," and we were realizing as the road got twistier and turnier that this was probably a mistake, because instead of slowing down or braking into the really steep turns, the bus was actually speeding up and going out of control, and then we left the road completely and were flying through the air.

This part of the dream was really cool because we were so high it was like flying from the sky, which was black, like outer space, not night time, and we were passing things that were not possible, like tall buildings and the Starship Enterprise from Star Trek, and then we hit the water, and instead of, you know, drowning or dying like you would expect, the bus continued to drive through the water, and it was just like you'd expect a super psychedelic, pumpkin cheesecake fueled dream to be.

Then we weren't underwater anymore, or on the bus, and instead were at a party somewhere, and we had our baby, only it wasn't really a real baby: we were holding and passing around a little plastic baby doll for whoever those people were at the party, and we all were acting like it was a real baby. The doll's head kept falling off, and every time it happened, we'd nonchalantly replace it and say, "oops, baby's head fell off!"
Anyway, I'm not stupid: I know that these are anxiety dreams, and the bits with the last-minute instructions and out of control bus mean that I'm dealing with the feeling that I've lost control of my life because of all the new things that will come with having the baby that I can't plan for or even know to expect; and having a kid with a head that keeps falling off: I'm sure that just means that I'm worried about the baby's health...  The dreams aren't scaring or freaking me out, instead I wake up from them trying to remember every detail, wondering if I should write about them here or if you guys will be bored, or god forbid, better at dream interpretation than I am and see something in them that I don't, something that indicates that I'm just crazy or something.

Oh, well. I guess that's a chance I'm willing to take.

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