She thinks she missed the train to Mars, she's watching Dancing with the Stars*

Last year I started watching "Dancing with the Stars" because my mother likes it and it's one of the few television shows she likes that I can stomach (I will never, ever, ever, watch "Big Brother"). I also like, sometimes, "The Biggest Loser." It's good for us to watch the same shows, because she likes to talk about what she watches, and I die a little every time she wants to talk about "Big Brother" or (shudder) "Big Brother After Dark."

Anyway, that's my official reason for watching this silly 21st century version of Battle of the Network Stars in feathers and heels, and I'm sticking with it. And it's turned out that the show is pretty fun and entertaining, and there, I'm not defending myself anymore, I just like watching it.

Last night's season opener was two hours long, and after ten hours of work, a 45 minute commute home, and a trip to the grocery store with Patrick, the perfect thing to end up watching on the couch with my feet up. I was really excited to see Jennifer Grey after all these years, especially because I understand that she's 50 years old now. She does not look 50. She looks gorgeous and like a "movie star," as the DWTS people kept referring to her. She danced beautifully and I think even Patrick (who was pretending to be checking out eBay and Craigslist drum and music equipment ads) got a little teary-eyed when she talked about Patrick Swayze.

I've read a few reviews this morning of the show in the LA Times, Dallas Morning News, and Washington Post, and I have to say, I think those reviewers are all pretty jaded and kind of mean: none of them liked Margaret Cho's totally entertaining and fun (and funny) take on the Viennese Waltz, which I think is kind of sad. She really put her own personality on the dance floor and demonstrated enough dance ability that you know in the future weeks she'll do very well. Instead the judges and the reviewers dinged her for having a sense of humor, something they might want to look into. Exclamations about Audrina Patridge (I've always thought her last name was "Patridge;" I have no idea why I should know who she is) being a "show pony" do not demonstrate possession of a sense of humor. Double entendres about the song Bristol "Teen Advocate" Palin danced to do not demonstrate possession of a sense of humor. This is not a serious dance competition, and it's the people who take it so seriously (Nicole Scherzinger and, it looks like, Brandy) who bore and annoy me. Yes, I think the celebrities should be able to dance - they get enough training that showing some ability shouldn't be too difficult and those who can't cut it should be sent home. But these are not dancers, and to expect perfection or 100% adherence to some sort of dance school technique is silly.

I voted for Bolton.

According to a poll on the Washington Post website, 61% of the people who voted think Margaret Cho should go home. Really? Before stiff and dull Michael Bolton? Stiff and crazy David Hasselhoff? Stiff and clueless Bristol Palin?

I refuse to comment on that dude "The Situation."

*On purpose mis-quote of the lyrics to the song "Stars" by 90s "space rock" (?) band Hum from their album "You'd Prefer an Astronaut."