Tonight was the last show. I'm done! It feels bittersweet. I had fun, it was a good show, the people were great, I learned how to work the board, but it's going to be so nice to be totally free on the weekends for awhile.
Last night I was thinking about what I want from my involvement with the theater. I mean, why am I there? I'm not sure if I need to answer this question - it's a good place for me to be right now, and I'm happy doing whatever they ask me to do, but still... it's something to think about. Somebody asked me last night if I was going to workshop - it's what the "real" actors and actresses in the company are required to do; they have "workshops" twice a month. Since I'm not an actor, it's never been an issue - why would I go? They show the director stuff they've been working on; it's their time to show her what they can do. Obviously not the place for me, because what can I do? Anyway, when I was tripping out of the house last night (literally tripping; I'm not referring to a psychedelic experience) the director told me if I wanted to work on something, I could show it to her. Not sure if I'd want my first time showing her something to be in front of the whole company, all of whom know I am *not* an actress, but it was an interesting thought.
A while back I was given, by my friend David, a short thing that the director's husband had written. It's about a "young" woman who has an affair with an older, married guy, who dies at a rather badly-timed moment. The young woman is pretty much a mess, I mean, she's got issues. I've worked on the first couple of pages, and have some ideas, but jeez. I'm not an actor. Would my idea of how it could look really be anything good? Wouldn't it be terrible to have ideas and find out that they all suck? Wouldn't it be embarrassing, and kind of - heart-breaking? Isn't it kind of insulting to the other actors, for me at my age to be thinking I can just start to do this now? Out of nowhere? I mean, acting doesn't seem to me to be something like learning to knit, or paint... the other people in the company are talented, hard workers who know what they're doing... I don't know how any of this shit works.
Then again, what do I know. Yeah, I'm old. But so what. Right?
No comments:
Post a Comment