Still gettng chemotherapy (two weeks on, one week off). She's been going regularly since Thanksgiving. Can you believe it? The first week is okay, I guess. Second week is pretty rough, but she's hanging in there. On Monday she had some blood drawn. Because I have (with her permission) access to her Kaiser online profile, and because Kaiser emails you with your test results, during the middle of the day yesterday I saw the test results.
They make it very easy to understand. There's an explanation of what each test is, why they've done it, and then next to your results, the range that you want your results to be in. Beyond that, of course, you should discuss things with your doctor. So I did a little looking around, and one of the tests worries me - it's related to liver function. There are actually two tests, and they're both, you know, outside the normal ranges. But see, I'm not a doctor. I barely passed high school biology (fucking frog), and please: let's not even talk about chemistry (I think I was sitting on the floor out in the hall with Rachel for much of the time). So I know that my review of these tests is half-assed and dumb, and I'm just getting worked up. Right? Right.
After I got home from work and talked with Patrick about it, he performed his magic trick and got me to stop worrying about it for awhile, and then I went to bed, and then I got up in the morning, and yeah, it was still on my mind. Around the middle of the day, my mom's doctor emailed us and her explanation of the situation was (as usual) more upbeat than mine. She wants the oncologist to review the tests, of course. Some of this is related to the crazy chemotherapy, she's sure. Mom's doctor is the type to put a positive spin on things, and I thought I was that type too, but with all my mother's been through... I'm kind of ready for her to get some down time. Time to get better and stop with the doctor's visits and sitting around and time to get better, did I mention that?
I wrote about this on Facebook a little today (my status, I mean), and in response to my friend Kate, who agreed that checking things out was a good idea, I wrote:
I would like to stop worrying that bad shit is around the corner, now, please. Thank you.Doesn't it seem to you like a good time for things to work out okay now?
It does.
On my way home from work, "Sweet Talkin' Woman" by the band Electric Light Orchestra came on my iPod. I never really paid attention to the song before but you know what? That is one happy song. So I listened to it, oh, five times or so all the way home, and at least twice while me and Patrick went to Whole Foods. It really helped turn my mood around. And now I'm going to go to bed.
For your listening pleasure:
Good night.
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