Day 4

I'm tired.

But I've only been doing this for 4 days... I keep thinking about the actors and everyone else and how hard they've been working, for months now.

Also: I don't take criticism very well. I don't mean that I don't listen, or try to do better. I mean, I take criticism as failure, I let it escalate my emotions. It doesn't help that I'm tired, it doesn't help that I know this is what I do and could've prepared for it - instead, I think, Hey, lady, you're 40 years old - this emotional reaction to a little slap on the hand is kind of stupid. There is a certain tone of frustration that sets me off, and there are certain people who either don't know that they know how to deploy it (and therefore destroy me temporarily) or they know, and they do it anyway.

I wish I had some defenses against that. I mean, besides junk food.

Something to work on for next time, I guess.

I got home at 1:30 last night. I'm so lucky Bo could drive last night, or we would've been found in a ditch somewhere. I fell asleep in the car, and I know that's a shitty thing to do when you're carpooling with somebody. I'm sure he was tired too. He woke me up when we got to the 710 with a big old cough: scared the hell out of me. Once home, I slept great - JP only woke up once, right around the time I was getting in bed. I nursed him to sleep, and then Patrick took him back to his bed. Then we all slept through the alarm, and got up at 6:30. I got JP up and fed and ready for school while Patrick took a shower, then when they left I took my own shower.

I'm here at work now. I have two big projects I need to get finished, but I will be working tomorrow, too (my regular day off!!!!). Anyway, guess I'd better get working on them.

More later, maybe.