You're all I've got tonight

(The title of today's post, I'm 99.9% sure, has nothing to do whatsoever with what I'm about to type. It's just, the Cars are playing on KLOS in the other room, and I'm too lazy to get up and turn it off. Plus, it makes a good title. I mean, it worked for the Cars, right? But it's not night, and you are, no offense, in fact, not all I've got tonight. It was either KLOS or A Prairie Home Companion, and I refuse, refuse I say! to listen to A Prairie Home Companion. Never, ever.)

So today Patrick took off early for his friend Phil's house. Patrick has been building a computer for Phil all week, and I'm really glad he's done. It was too hot for him to work in the garage, so he had everything spread out all over the living room... but now it's all gone. I'm trying to train him to remove his tools from the house when he's done with them (once I found a screwdriver in between the couch cushions; let's not even get started on all the hard drives I found in a basket in the bookcase the other night), but he's like a little kid: he just can't do it. Well. He has few faults, so, better this than, I don't know, abuse.

While he's been gone, I took this opportunity to finally start cleaning my "office." We call it that ("Irene's office") but really it's just the second, smaller bedroom. I suppose we could call it "the nursery" but then it would just be an empty room with nothing in it. Now it's a room with a shitload of computer equipment, a bunch of hundred year old bills and files and paper and gift wrap and our winter coats and luggage, and somehow this room has gotten really, really, disgustingly messy.

One thing I feel particularly good about but I know won't make Patrick very happy is, I removed the kitty tree. We've had this kitty tree for 10 years, and in spite of being vacuumed (infrequently, it's true, but we did do it once in a while), it still looked like a petrified relative of Chewbacca - so I took it out. Yes, the cats lose a favorite napping spot, but look, I have one bed, a couch, a couple of chairs. All of these places for humans to rest are of course shared with the cats. The cats have a dozen places to sleep. I mean, they can hang out on anything, and in fact, often just stretch right out on the cold hard floor. Except for the kitchen counters, there's really no place in my home they can't go. Do they need a six foot tall kitty tree? I think not. I've tried to get rid of it before, and Patrick always talks me out of it, but with him being gone, I sucked it up and hauled the heavy thing out myself. And that sucker was heavy.

Well. Maybe we'll get them a new one. Will have to see how much they protest it being gone.

Another thing I'm proud of, I rearranged all the computer parts. Our computer has sort of grown, not unlike some creepy black-cabled sea creature, and the cables and power cords and USB cables were all in a giant, seething, impenetrable snarl under my desk that was also home, as it turned out, to quite a few almost animate dust bunnies (I swear I saw one try to run away). There were pieces of computer everywhere. The most dramatic change was pulling the CPU from off the floor and putting in, vertical, on top of my desk. Now I won't be stubbing my toes all the damn time.

Unplugging everything and setting it all up again was a bit like putting together a giant living puzzle - our cables aren't labeled or anything organized like that, but it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and now, everything works (I did panic at first when I couldn't get on the Internet, but then I remembered that I had unplugged the modem. Plugging it back in solved that minor problem. Funny, how simple it was). There was only one cable left over, and yes, that concerned me for awhile, but then Patrick called to check in, and I asked him about it, and he said he wasn't using that particular cable anymore. I was relieved, and rather wished I hadn't asked.

He's going to come home and help me with "cable management." He has a big box of fancy twist ties, and after hearing him go on and on about his superior skills with twist ties (compared to some of his co-workers; he's really quite competitive about the funniest things) at work, I've challenged him to put up or shut up on our very own machine. See, I've figured out how he works: challenge him and he bites. Ask him, and he finds something better to do.

I still have a massive pile of paperwork to go through, and the stuff I brought home from work (three boxes worth of stuff. In 22 months at that job I accumulated quite a mass of crap). Most of it, I guess, can go with me on Monday to my new job, but I'm pretty sure most of it is trash.

This project has been on the back of my mind for awhile now, and I've been ignoring it, as I am wont to do. I guess I kept thinking it would get better by itself. It didn't. No one was more surprised than I was when it actually got worse. Now that I'm about halfway through, though, I realize that I've gotten quite a lot of satisfaction out of straightening up. (I've also decided that I really need a new vaccuum. I think I want this one. There is definitely a trip to Sears in my future.) There's still a lot of work to do, but Patrick is home now, and gave his approval to the new set up, agreed to the cable management bit, and either didn't notice or doesn't care that the kitty tree is out in the backyard, horizontal, next to the barbecue. What, was I supposed to take it out to the curb? Don't be ridiculous.

...

My last week of work was pretty uneventful. I didn't see my boss at all Thursday or Friday, which, as it turned out, was just fine with me. I had everything pretty much wrapped up by Wednesday (though, I did lose one important item during my clean up; I'm pretty sure it was given to the chief deputy to review months ago, but not being able to find it made me a little crazy for awhile. Then I decided I didn't need to care about it anymore. I was suprised that that worked), and Thursday, for the most part, was just one big party. My co-workers (32 of us! I was touched!) took me to Carino's Italian Grill for lunch. For me to be the center of attention like that, it was a little overwhelming. Then my friend Loretta bought me a Bellini, and I got over the embarrassment fairly quickly.

After we got back to the office, they had cake and ice cream (what, no marching band? No petting zoo? No hot air balloons [damn, I forgot to ask for the hot air balloons]), and since my boss was rather glaringly absent, the chief deputy and his special assistant attended. They more than made up for her not being there. The chief deputy told everyone how talented I am and how much they're going to miss me, and while I know it's just words you say when someone is leaving, it really was nice, because I kind of think he meant it. (Then it turned out that he's going to vote for McCain. Damn!)

Friday I really wrapped up everything: I drove down to East LA to our communications office to turn in my calling card, and went back to the office. Since I thought I had to work the whole day, I took a lunch, but I went to Macy's and bought a new purse instead. When I came back, I found out that my boss had stopped by the office to take me out to lunch. Finding me already at lunch, she scrawled me a note (something about taking me to lunch next week instead, but when the hell is that going to happen? I do have a new job to go to now) and left. I was a bit perplexed because it turned out she had told someone at work (not me) that she might come by, but since no one informed me... what did she expect? So anyway, I checked out for real (badge, keys, building access card), and came home.

It is such a relief. I can't tell you, how it feels to know that I never have to go there again. I have written a little about it, but the problems and massive failure of that department - and in my opinion, while they may serve their purpose adequately, the fact that nothing truly tragic has happened there is pure luck: it's not my problem anymore.

My mom told me yesterday that no job is perfect, and that she's a bit concerned because I seem to be moving around a lot, but my mom didn't understand how bad it was, because I never really told her. I think sometimes to my parents, my problems are comical, because I make them seem that way when I tell them about my life. I know I'm not honest with them, and that's my fault, but how much do I want my mom to know? Lecturing me about going to church and tithing some of my income to god is quite enough lecture from my mother, I'm sure. The truth is, that job took a lot out of me. I worked hard (don't count this week. This week I did a lot of surfing the Internet), I did change some things in HR, and I pushed myself. I learned a lot. So that's good, I guess. I also learned that I don't need that kind of stress, thank you very much.

It was hard to answer people, when they asked me if I was excited about starting my new job, because I was mostly just anxious about closing down everything. I wanted to be gone, but stretching it all out over four days made it weird. Now that I'm out, with something new ahead of me, I'm not nervous (yet), I'm not excited; really, I'm just ready to start.

I like that feeling.

Update at 10:24 PM:
I just got home from the theater (good show tonight; weird vibe from some of the actors. I am going to choose to ignore it, though, because I suspect it was not directed at me personally), and what's the first thing I notice?

Patrick brought Chewbacca in from the backyard and put it in the living room. After my groan of horror, we discussed replacing it with a new one. Fine. Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?