Post Oscars Commentary

Originally I had thought I might like to do some "live blogging" of last night's Oscars, but when I realized that since I'd only seen one of the nominated films (the nominated movie I saw was "Star Trek" - nominated in the "best makeup" category, I believe), it was obvious to me that my inexpert voice would add nothing to the jumble.

I'm actually surprised that I watched the whole broadcast (see how sophisticated I am, using a word like "broadcast," and right after using the word "nominated" three times in one sentence, too!), but it was a good program. I kind of enjoyed Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. I love Neil Patrick Harris but his opening was, in a word, lame. There were issues that other people also caught: the camera angles were weird sometimes; apparently McCaulay Culkin made a comment after the John Hughes tribute before his microphone was turned off, but now I can't remember what he said (and at the time, I thought the comment had been made by Ally Sheedy); not only was Farrah Fawcett left off the list of stars in the memorial section, I was confused by the tight shot on James Taylor and the wide shot of the screens showing the names. And why James Taylor? Were there no other more relevant musical acts that could've performed live during that moment? Also confusing: the endless dance number. Yay for choreography and dancers I gues, but what did that have to do with anything? And that woman who interrupted that man during his acceptance speech for a movie I'd never heard of but that I did choose (at random) to win in that category - what the heck was that all about? (The NY Times has the answer.)

And also, since I'm no fashion expert with my own suspect sense of style, I'll give an abbreviated recap of the people I liked, in alphabetical order, because that's how I roll:

• Sandra Bullock: Patrick and my friend Sarah thought her lipstick was too harsh, but I thought she was gorgeous. Loved this dress (but then I also liked the purple thing she wore that everyone ragged on), loved her hair, loved her sense of humor, loved her interview later with Barbara Walters.
• Penelope Cruz: I saw her on the pre-show lined up with all the other actresses in her category, and she was stunning. God - how does one get to be that gorgeous? Life's not fair. 
• Cameron Diaz: Not sure why she was there, but she looked pretty and soft for a change.
• Anna Kendrick: Damn, woman.
• Mo'Nique: Apparently her outfit was an homage to Hattie McDaniel, which I didn't know until later (obviously). I thought she looked delicate and feminine. Nice job.
• Demi Moore: Loved everything about her, until she spoke. I don't know, I wonder about Demi Moore. Don't you? I mean, when did she get that head injury?
• Carey Mulligan: Don't know who she is, didn't see her movie (as I already stated), have seen variations of that haircut before, but this one was the best.
• Molly Ringwald: I don't remember Molly having such intense eyeballs back in the 80s - but she looks great in purple!
• Meryl Streep: She looked so comfortable, and glamorous. Great hair.
• Sigourney Weaver: How old is Sigourney Weaver? It doesn't matter, because: pretty!

The ones I didn't like so much:

• Kathryn Bigelow: Beautiful woman, boring dress.
• Diane Kruger: Feathers? Halter? Flounces? What?
• Queen Latifah: Blah. Pageant dress. And do you like how I alphabetized her in the "L's"?
• Jennifer Lopez: her dress had this huge folded portion in the front that bothered me. What'd she have in there? But! I LOVED her hair. Messy, pretty, soft: I could wear that hair, I bet. And she's gorgeous, just not my cup of tea.
• Sarah Jessica Parker: That dress was straight out of Mrs. Robinson's closet. And the hair?! I know a lot of people on FB liked the way she looked, and the fashion-y people at the red carpet shows, but I just didn't like it. Matthew Broderick couldn't even help her. And when did his head get so big?!
• Charlize Theron: Those rosebud breasts were disturbing.

Here's the funny thing: all these women are more beautiful than I will ever be. So what do I know? Anyway, I'll do links later.

One thing I really liked was seeing all the happy couples (only George Clooney's gorgeous girlfriend strikes me as looking bored and unimpressed. Maybe that's why he likes her) on the red carpet. This photo is from the NY Times and I hope I don't get sued for using it, but I think I'm in love with that guy from "Inglourious Basterds." And Jeff Bridges - sure, he seemed high but congratulations to him. He seems like a lot of fun. And Colin Firth! Even their wives are lovely. Not pictured: my other favorite couple, Robert Downey Jr. and his wife. I loved her stripe-y dress.

I read some of the other readers' comments on the NY Times about the ceremony, and it cracks me up when people give their opinion on things but preface it with a very self-satisfied, Michael Kors-esque "Let's face it," as if what they're about to say is anything other than their own opinion. "Let's face it, 'Avatar' is a much better film than 'The Hurt Locker.'" Give me a break. Maybe you think that. Maybe other people think it, too. But it's YOUR OPINION. I don't have to "face anything," genius.

So? I guess I liked it this year. I watched the pre-show stuff and the entire show (well, okay, eating, tweeting, playing Scrabble online and chatting with Patrick the whole time), and I wasn't really disappointed. I'm definitely adding these movies to my Netflix queue. Maybe next year I'll actually see the movies before the Academy Awards, but don't count on it.

P.S. Oh! And another thing! Everyone has been griping about the tribute to horror movies and how "Silence of the Lambs" had been nominated for an Oscar and so shouldn't have been in the featured films. Well, duh: "Silence of the Lambs" isn't a horror movie. Neither was "Beetlejuice." Come on, let's face it, "Beetlejuice" was a comedy. And "Silence of the Lambs" was a thriller.

Finally... other than starring with Sandra Bullock in a couple of horrible movies, can anybody tell me what Keanu Reeves was doing there?