Sunday, February 3, 2008

Self censoring

It's funny, I'll write just about anything to anybody at any time about myself, exposing myself to ridicule and, I'm sure, many laughs on the part of the reader (and maybe a few grimaces and an"oh, fuck" here or there), but there are two things I really need to write (a thank you note to my aunt, who made me a beautiful red afghan for the bed for my birthday, which is rapidly approaching; even worse, I need to write a sympathy card to one of my oldest friends which I'm having a hard time with for my own reasons, but it's terrible, because "my own reasons" really shouldn't be stopping me from offering sympathy to this person, who, I'm sure, if the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't be sitting around putting off offering me their condolences; I'm just selfish, lazy, and bad), and instead of writing them, I am watching the video for "Genius of Love" by the Tom Tom Club with Patrick, and planning on totally avoiding all my responsibilities for the next 20 minutes until it's time to go to bed.

Tomorrow will be another killer day at work - this lady is coming to work with me on this huge report we've been working on for the last couple of weeks (I've been working late, working on it at home...); keeping on top of this project has completely sidelined all my other tasks, which makes me feel anxious and out of control, and I'm taking all of next week off to go to El Paso with Patrick and my mother-in-law... so I know I have quite a few things to wrap up and I'm not sure if I have enough days to get everything done.

On Friday, I submitted three applications for three classifications that I may or may not be qualified for, but if I get 'em, would mean a big step in the right direction for me. Right now I just have to wait and see if the powers that be agree.

I haven't been to a Weight Watchers meeting in about 4 weeks (I've been using my project as an excuse, but really, I just don't want to go), and I've been eating whatever I want, which hasn't exactly been a great plan; however, I've also been taking a 20 minute walk almost every day for the last couple of weeks, so at least I'm getting out of the office at some point during the day to walk around. I've been going kind of late in the day, so I get to see the early evening sky, which, as you may or may not know, has always been my favorite time of day.

Good, there's at least one nice thing for this post.

I'm not in a great mood. This is a hell of a way to feel on Sunday night before a week that promises to be a busy one. Come Friday, I will be ready to walk to El Paso.

I don't know what that means, either.

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