I stopped at the Christian bookstore tonight on my way home from work to pick up a book my mom asked me to get for her. Because I'm violently allergic to the Christian bookstore, I made a point of wearing my sunglasses (in case I ran into anyone I knew) and of having the dirtiest, evil-ist, most blood-sucking Satanic Black Sabbath song I could think of in my head.
Actually, the joke's on me because that's a lie: I couldn't think of anything bad-ass enough the entire time I was in there (about five minutes). Instead I had that old U2 song "Drowning Man" in my head. I don't know what Bono's going on about in that song but I'm pretty sure he's talking about Jesus.
Then, when I got to the register (behind which was a giant, 20 X 20 poster of the 23rd Psalm; and if that doesn't creep you out there's something wrong with you), the very nice Asian woman behind the counter asked me if I was on their mailing list. No, I replied. She then asked me if I would like to be on their mailing list. "No, thank you," I replied. She then told me to fuck off.
No, she didn't do that, she just asked to see my driver's license since I was paying with a credit card.
Somewhere, someone is praying for me.
That's fine.
I came home and asked Patrick for a recommendation for which Black Sabbath song I should use for this story, and he suggested the song "Black Sabbath," which is from their album, "Black Sabbath." Have you listened to this song lately?I can't seem to find a non-live version of it on Napster, Amazon or iTunes and don't feel like breaking the law but check it out one day if you haven't heard it for awhile. It's really a funny song.
This reminds me of when I was living in Spain and wanted to send xmas cards home for the holidays. After several weeks of trying not to notice that they were in the window display of the Christian bookstore I walked past on the way to school every day, I finally went in to browse. They didn't have anything with, say, snowmen smiling with striped scarves and carrot noses, so I tried to avoid the stares of the nuns and ducked out.
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