I think we all know the answer to that question: No, this is not the face of a brave woman. This is the face of a woman who takes forever to make a decision, who can't pick out a shower curtain without consulting at least two people, who doesn't make friends easily, who is competitive with other flutists even in friendly settings (if only in her own mind), who has been considering going back to school for about 8 years and who, instead of thinking about "real" school courses that would earn her some sort of degree, has just registered for a (graded!) Long Beach City College class called "Wind Symphony."
(Hey, don't get me wrong: I am full of trepidation about Wind Symphony beyond the graded aspect; this was not an easy decision, but it was an easier one.)
I haven't taken a graded music course since my senior year of high school. That was a class where, unless you assaulted the teacher or withheld your soda from a choking fellow band member, you were guaranteed an A+.
God. I need to grow up sometime, right? I'm just taking a class, I'm not joining a cult. And, the truth is, I want to play more. I want to play more in a location that I could possibly ride my bike to (that is a horrible sentence). I want to meet fellow musicians from the town in which I live (slightly better sentence).
Still. I suddenly feel very, very nervous. I want to ride my bike, stay off of Facebook, vacuum, do some laundry, and maybe do some long tones tonight.
I am a fine flutist. I have a lovely piccolo. This will be fine.
Right? It'll be fine.
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