I will

I should really go to bed (I have things to do first: find my cell phone, change the sheets on the bed, figure out what I'm going to wear to work tomorrow, find the purse I was using before we went to Portland because my work ID is in it, put the CD I borrowed from Frederique in my purse, brush my teeth and exfoliate, bring in the little bag with my deoderant in it from the garage where I accidentally left it when I took the suitcase out there because I don't want to smell like Patrick's Axe deoderant again tomorrow), but:

Tonight on the way home from the theater, a friend of mine got news on his cell phone (I was driving) that is none of my business to reveal here. We talked about it a bit.

Before we talked about it, though, we were discussing the themes in the play we're working on, and I had commented that I can see what his character is going through: he loves someone only after he realizes he can't have her, or that she doesn't love him back. I think my comment was, that's a good story, there. It is. My friend said, "Isn't that life, though?" And then he asked me why that is. It didn't seem hypothetical, either. It felt personal, the way he asked me why that is. Like, why do you idiots do stuff like that?*

I got a little upset with him at this point - dude, you just said that's how life is. So why the hell would I know? I mean, just because (and my friend very well knows my history) being on the feeling end of this equation is somewhere I've been before - but I don't know why. Isn't that a question better left to my biographers? So it seemed a bit unfair to be asking me. Just because something is familiar: I don't fucking know why. I stewed about it for a minute, didn't trust myself to say the right thing, and then one of us made a joke, I changed the subject, and he got the phone call.

When I dropped him off, he told me to drive safe.

I said, "I will."

There are lots of holes in this story. But I don't want to forget.

*Thinking about it now, a whole hour later, I don't really think that's what he meant. I think I put a personal spin on something that was more global in nature. I think. Yes. That's what I did.

And, of course, the important thing about this story isn't what happened to me, anyway.