These things would be a lot better if they came with the spiral notebook.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Supposedly some relative of my mother's but the answer is a little confusing, because that woman's name wasn't "Irene" (I may lack a basic understanding of that story).

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Sunday, 9:32 p.m. It was outside, in the backyard, on the swing, in front of the garage. I was smoking a cigarette, and the sky was full of stars...

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Yes, but my footwriting - that you gotta see.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Tuna.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes, three; they're all four-legged and furry and one of them was last month's "Student Of the Month" at school. We're so proud!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Maybe. I'm pretty needy. And competitive. And I lie all the time.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Maybe.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes, they're all mine. Wisdom teeth, too. What else do you want to know about my useless body parts ?

Appendix: check.

Coccyx: check.

Body hair: Well, that's a tad personal, now.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Yes! But I'd be scared shitless.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Corn Pops, Cheerios, Special K with those mysterious "red" berries.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

I untie everything when I take it off. Including the "handcuffs."

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Mentally or physically? Oh wait, neither.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Chocolate malted crunch from Thrifty! Thank God for Rite-Aid.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

How attracted to me they appear to be. If they look like they read Ayn Rand's novels in their formative years. If they have any money. If their fly is down. If I think I could drink their milkshake.

15. RED OR PINK?

Red. Pink is only good for toenail polish, and Patrick's bike. And old profile photos (what, you thought my shirt was white? Oh, no, it's the palest pink possible).

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

My willingness to consider answering that question with a serious response. Though, this question is worded funny. What do you mean, "THE least favorite thing..." Do you mean, MY least favorite thing, or THE least favorite thing about me, as determined by consensus?

Seriously, I think my least favorite thing is also my favorite thing: my inability to give up. Oh, yeah, I've had some dreams since 1985 or so, things that should've been long forgotten and/or discussed in therapy. You know, those things. I still harbor a dim hope that some of my hopes and dreams will still come true, even though I'm 36 and my best years - let's be honest - are probably behind me. I think that's kind of cool, actually (not that my best years are behind me) - that I still think I could accomplish those things. Let's go, me - get a move on!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

Hanging with Rachel, Melissa and Michelle everyday - having a built in audience, the best listeners in the world, and ready-made entertainment at my disposal, all fucking day long. With nothing to do but go to school, which only some of us took seriously. Let's see, which ones of us didn't take it seriously? The ones who went to USC? Or the ones who debated the validity of Robert Plant referencing Gollum in "Ramble On"? We made each other laugh and I wish we still did. Those three chicks were special, and not just because they thought I was funny.

(Also, I miss Kevin, the kid across the street. Wait, his parents just told me he's moving back home after a year at college. I am soo glad. We're not close, I just like knowing he's around if I need a 19-year old baseball player for anything.)

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?

Everyone? Hell no. If somebody does, though, I will be incredibly surprised.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Sort of brown/black ersatz hounds-tooth pants (the Gap calls it "woven stripe," whatever that means); black shoes. Why? Are you trying to pick me out of the crowd in your crosshairs?

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Chicken wings, from Wingstop. I had 5 Original Hots and 5 Mild, plus fries, and a beer (Pacifico. Wingstop should really consider carrying Red Stripe).

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Fishbone.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Maize (renamed "Dandelion" in 1990); on a good day: Unmellow Yellow. Though, I have to admit I always loved Midnight Blue.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Food cooking. Any food. I'm kinda hungry right now.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

My friend Bo who told me his kitty is doing better.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

She's okay.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Summer Olympics, figure skating, baseball sometimes.

27. HAIR COLOR?

Dark, dark brown hair speckled with a few white ones here and there.

28. EYE COLOR?

Brown. Crayola calls it "Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown."

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No. I tried them in high school and on my wedding day. My eyes are too sunken for contacts. I look like a skull without glasses. And, that line about guys not making passes at girls who wear glasses? Total falsehood. Some guy in Best Buy last night hit me with a "hey baby" in the cell phone department. And that's with hair in a ponytail, in a sweatshirt and jeans, clutching the DVD of "Square Pegs" (which we didn't buy). Yeah, I still got it.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Anything cooked with love. And sushi, which isn't cooked but loved nonetheless.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings, and not just for movies.

32. LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED?

Ugly Betty, but I'm behind about 3 weeks.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black sweater No. 4. Wouldn't this question have been better combined with question #19? Plan ahead next time, okay?

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Spring.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Both. Please. Hey. What are you waiting for?

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Anything a la mode.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND

?

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

"The Pleasure of My Company," by Steve Martin; well, it's on my bedside table, but I haven't started it yet. It looks awfully short, and the thing about Steve Martin, which I discovered from reading his book "Born Standing Up," is that he likes to leave you wanting more. This is fine when there is actually more to be had, but unless I can find a collection of his pieces for the New Yorker or go rent "Three Amigos!" there's not much else more out there. Loved him in the Bee Gees' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" movie, too.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

Some ergonomic crap, which I am currently ignoring. Both feet on the floor? Girl, please.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?

The last five minutes of American Idol; Top Chef.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

That little chirrupy meow thing Franny does when I get out of the shower; the sound of my boss walking out of the building.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

That time in the 12th grade I climbed out my bedroom window and went to a midnight screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" with Damon Jacobs (worst driver of 1990). Oh, yeah, and my trip to France a couple of years later.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

Oh, yes.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Santa Monica, CA.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?

I'm looking forward to lots of things. Answers, not so much.

Julie, I know we've both done these a hundred times, but hey, what's 101? Go for it, babe.