Earlier today

Earlier today I had lots of good ideas for blog posts. Earlier today, when I was going to lunch, and driving in my car, and therefore unable to write down these ideas, because I had a large automobile at my beck and call and for which I was responsible. Though sometimes I wonder if my car is harboring a computer (a la Gay Deceiver) that I am not aware of but is capable of keeping me from crashing and/or causing mayhem on the streets on which I drive. One day I may find a secret button under the dash, for example, which will awaken Gay and allow us to converse and form a real relationship. Wouldn't that be cool?

For example:

Last night I decided that I wanted Arby's for dinner. I had Arby's on Sunday with my friends Bo and Jeff, and I was suitably impressed with it (I had the pecan chicken salad sandwich on wheat; it was pretty darn good) and so decided to try again. The drive-through was empty, the service was quick, and I pulled out of the parking lot to make a left turn onto the street that would lead me back home, when I realized, half-way across the street, that making a left turn at that particular section of the road was not possible, because of this little thing called a "median."

A median. It wasn't large, or high (or painted yellow or have reflectors or a "one way" sign), and maybe I could've gone over it, but instead, instead (I am truly a genius!) I decided to back up and straighten out and go right.

It would've all been okay had there not been vehicles coming. Isn't that just the way things work out? Luckily the drivers of those vehicles were looking where they were going, and they all managed to swerve around me (thank you, cars, for not hitting me: I am eternally grateful), while I sat there, akimbo to the road, freaking out (nervously laughing, saying to myself, over and over, shit-shit-shit-shit-shit, etc.), until I was able to get the fuck out of the way.

Needless to say, I could've done with Gay, who, I imagine, would've been able to override my idiot move, at that moment, but I thought about it, and realized, hey, I'm not dead, there was no "right turn only" sign at the driveway, no one was hurt and/or killed, all's well that ends well, and no, this isn't the post I imagined earlier in the day as I drove to Panda Express for lunch, but hey, check it out, I've successfully written something.

"Successful" in that I am satisfied with it enough to hit "Publish Post."