Subject: RE: I'm confused

From: Irene
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 10:00 AM
To: Andrea
Subject: RE: I'm confused

I have always been fully clothed in that theater though I would consider doing the lights for The Mission (Accomplished) topless. Wait, what? Mmmm, sausage...

From: Andrea
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 9:32 AM
To: Irene
Subject: RE: I'm confused

You do a lot of nude plays, huh? There's a fine line between bravery and.... looking like a stuffed sausage in a casing?

From: Irene
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 9:25 AM
To: Andrea
Subject: I'm confused

Remember I told you I was buying more size 8 pants and that they were fitting me? Size 8 isn't that great but it's the smallest I've been in ages. Anyway, my new size 8s are great (today's pants, though ugly navy blue, fit just fine) but my old size 8s have obviously shrunk. So I go from one day to the next feeling fat and then feeling not that fat. I mean, I know I gotta do something about my flab and my tummy but at work when fully clothed I can sort of hide it. I'm never gonna be as brave as some people (So-and-So in ****! She looks great and her clothes are beautiful but man! Belly!) but hey, that's just me.

Then on Sunday this girl at the theater who has known me since when I was a good 25 pounds heavier and self-conscious and A FAT COW: it just so happens that she's beautiful and petite and svelte (she's been nude on stage) and everyone's in love with her (can you sense my jealousy? God, I suck totally); she complimented me on how good I look, which instead of making me feel good, made me feel like a fat cow. A mean fat cow, because inside I was all, "I don't need your compliments, you skinny bitch" but outside I was nice and said thank you. Oh, so mean and wrong, because of course I need compliments, and of course I was grateful: I so obviously suck it up, but I mean, what the fuck?

Oh, I'm bitter, now, too. Great. No response necessary, I just had to say "fat cow" a couple of times. I feel better now.