Get smart

The lights in the hall outside my office door are strategically lit. They do it for energy conservation, I think. About every other bank of lights (if "bank" is indeed the right word; there is maybe 20 feet between them) is turned off. It's fine, you can see clear enough, and certainly it's not a safety hazard (working in the safety office, I guess I would know).

When I step outside my office door into that hall, I am always reminded of the opening sequence of that old show "Get Smart" (not the movie; I love Steve Carrell, but I didn't see it). I'm not sure where the picture from the left is from - this isn't the hall from the TV show, I don't think, and it's certainly not my hall (the title of the web page I hurriedly stole it from titles it "Get Smart Hall Revamped;" you can visit the web page by clicking on the picture itself). There are indeed hidden dangers, just like in the opening of the show. For one thing, my co-worker thought she heard a creature in the ceiling (or perhaps she heard a ghost, she wasn't sure). For another thing, the floor is incredibly well-shined, and rather slick. And there are doorways on both sides of the hall. It's interesting, but on one side (the north side) the doors open out and on the other (the south side, duh), the doors open in. So I tend to hug the south side of the hall, fearing the day that one of the hasty finance people, in their rambunctiousness, opens a door and flattens me like a pancake.

Okay, so knowing what you should already know about me and my balance issues, what I'm about to write will probably come as no surprise to you: I do not walk the straightest path (how's that for a bit of unintentional self-analysis). I struggled with this on the treadmill for awhile (but have since had a major breakthrough at the gym), and lacking handrails in the hallway at work, well, I'm not too smooth with this walking business for some reason. Also, I'm pretty sleepy at work and we all know what sleepwalking at work looks like. I would not be surprised if more than one person has suspected that I am slightly inebriated. Or perhaps suffering from vertigo.

The truth is, gentlemen (because it has not been my experience that other women, besides Tyra Banks, and not even her so much, are interested in the way I walk), and I don't know if it's due to the optical illusion of the on/off lights or because my blood sugar is low or because one leg is longer than the other... but despite being very tired today, I am not drunk. "This" is just the way I walk, and have walked since the second grade when Brett and Chris* happily (gleefully, even) pointed it out to me.

At the time, I think I cried (I had a huge 2nd grade crush on Brett. Let's just say my affections were 1,000% not recriprocated). Oh, boys can be so mean.

*I have not yet found either of them on Facebook. This is just fine with me.