Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The Day I Stopped Watching "Gilmore Girls"

Well, it had to happen someday (didn't I use those words elsewhere in my blog this week?)... After something like six years of watching "Gilmore Girls" and not-so secretly aspiring to be Lorelai Gilmore (minus the 21-year old daughter), last night I taped GG and watched only 15 minutes before stopping the thing and deleting the episode.

Yes, I was tired (and therefore punchy).

However, in my defense (I may have also been menstrual), the show sucked. After being off forever, they return to... Rory coming home from visiting her punk-ass boyfriend in London (and she still has those goddamn bangs, and the Prius from a hundred years ago. Hello, all the cool kids are driving the Civic Hybrid), and she finds that Mom and Dad (newly married, remember?) have refrained from celebrating Christmas, denying Dad's other little daughter (Lorelai's step-daughter) from celebrating Christmas (and, this child apparently still believes in Santa Claus, so what horrendous lie did they tell her, anyway, and do you think that qualifies as child abuse? And if so, if I call it in to DCFS, will this show GO AWAY?). Anyway, Lorelai and Rory (party of two) dig up all their hundred year old Christmas crap (one box was overlowing with that paper garland stuff you make, you know, with a stapler, and I want to know: what kind of people re-use that? I mean, you make it, you staple it together, and come New Year's Day, you throw that shit away), and talk about their very precious Christmas traditions, and pull the "oh, Christopher, you don't know anything about what we do, so don't come to us with your crappy nouveau riche velveteen Christmas stockings and rain on our Christmas parade."

Argh! I mean, fuck, the guy's your dad, your husband, and he's living there, and he wants to participate, so would you PLEASE ACCEPT HIM INTO THE FAMILY ALREADY? God they were both annoying the crap out of me, and this is only like, I don't know, 10 minutes in.

Then sometime later (time seemed to pass in strange ways during this episode), we're at the Dragonfly, where Lorelai still pretends to work, and Luke shows up, practically in tears, begging her to write a character reference for his lawyer. He needs it for when he takes Sherilynn Fenn to court to sue for some kind of partial custody of his daughter, which is fine, but I don't know, why does Luke have NO other friends? It's a small town, and he's the town grinch, but come on. Maybe he could've gotten Jess-the-small-press king to do it. I mean, the guy's a writer, is he not?

Anyway, I watched about 10 seconds of beautiful Lauren Graham struggling to write the letter (while Sookie slaved over a hot kitchen. Lorelai seems to be going to work merely to get dressed in pretty clothes these days) before I stopped caring about anyone and everyone. Oh, there was a scene in there with a very pregnant Lane harassing the diners at Luke's (who must go there for the salt that gets poured in their wounds by either Luke or Lane) but I refuse to write about it anymore than I just have, because... This. Show. Sucked.

And now? I am FREE! Free of Star's Hollow and Rory and her dumbass friends with their dumbass nicknames for people (Boyfriend!) and fucking Gramma and Grampa and Logan and Taylor and oh, my god, no more goddamn Kirk, and Pat Sajak the dog (whatever)...

Hooray for me!

1 comment:

  1. Paul Anka. I actually have watched more frequently this season for the first time. Reasons unknown. I've seen it here and there and it's a really well written show but I know what you mean about the weird story lines. Christopher totally is trying and is rejected at every turn. If Lorelei didn't want to marry him, the word "no" comes to mind and we know Lorelei has never been at a loss for words. Haven't watched this week's show yet but I'm sure I'll watch it through more comical eyes after reading your post.

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