Sunday, January 14, 2007

Ted Allen Should Replace All Three Judges On Top Chef

While I seriously doubt that online petitions effect any change in this world, here's something totally silly that I am behind, 100%; because, well, if you're going to get behind something, why not make it something totally ridiculous?

We've been watching Top Chef since Harold Dieterle won the first season. Last season wasn't perfect, but this time around, it's even worse. I mean, I don't know, maybe chefs just aren't nice people. Maybe lack of sleep does turn everyone into backstabbing, petty, tantrum-throwing jerks. What do I know?

Anyway, I've developed a serious dislike for the judges this season, and would love to see all of them get thrown under the Top Chef bus. These people should not be called upon to judge a peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich making contest. They suffer from the same malady as Rosie O'Donnell, Katie Couric, and Donald Trump: they take themselves way too seriously. Except that, the accomplishments of Rosie, Katie, and The Donald trump (get it?) the accomplishments of Gail, Padma, and Tom: I mean, they have at least some excuse. This season's Top Chef (and I'm not even talking about the total circus that breaks out whenever the cheftestants have to actually interact with each other) has just been dismal.

The best episodes have been the ones that have Ted Allen taking the place of Gail Simmons. Gail may be a nice person in real life (again, what do I know) but on this show, she has her nose in the air and a look of disgust on her face the entire time, and she seems to consider herself an expert on everything. Tom seems to let his preconceived notions get in the way of judging things that don't go the way he thinks they should go fairly, and Padma, well, don't get me started on Padma. I think all in all, I prefer Katie Joel.

Can't believe I just wrote that.

Anyway, so there's this online petition (click on the title of this post) that seeks to install Ted as Top Chef's "Tim Gunn," relieving Tom of the need to spy on the chefs backstage during the challenges. "I am not here to mentor anyone," he says on his blog. Well, good, because it's pretty clear that you'd suck at it. Ted, on the other hand, who treats everyone fairly, and critiques the work of the chefs with integrity and dignity, would bring a level of class to this show that it's totally lacking.

Oh, and please accept my sincere apologies for the typos in the comment that I left on the petition's website. It was an accident.

P.S. I forgot to add Kelly Ripa to the list of insufferable famous people who think people care what they think or do.

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