Overheard at City Garage:

During Saturday's cue-to-cue, the following words were spoken onstage. They're in the script, so no, nobody was improvising (or speaking to me):

..."blood-sucking vagina."

The context is interesting, but I just wanted to point out to you, in case you've been lulled by the recent works on display at City Garage (lighter, funny): this ain't a show for the kiddies.

I'm going to save these three words up for the next time I'm in need of a really good epithet on the freeway to replace "motherfucker." Something to remember when I'm on "Inside the Actor's Studio" (riiight).

...

And, in possibly the only instance where the words "blood-sucking vagina" and "Martha Stewart" are used in the same breath (or maybe not),

I WANT TO BE MARTHA STEWART.

This is so fucking cool (click on the words "I want to be Martha Stewart" above and you will see what I'm going on about). I need more books. I don't really need a MacBook Air, but she makes me want one. Why does Apple have to make SUCH COOL STUFF? Do you think Steve Jobs gives her this stuff or does she pay for it? She probably pays for it. Though, what the hell type of order are these books in? Is she going by the Library of Congress? Are they grouped by subject? Can she locate her books after she shelves them? Because what good is the dewey decimal system if you can't find anything? That third shelf down looks like it has architecture next to history next to cookbooks (I can't read the spines but I do recognize some of them from Rizzoli, Original Home of the Big Expensive Book on One Topic No One Should Care That Much About ("Barns," "Trailers," etc.).

I have to admit that I did crack up when she referred to her books as "volumes." It's a perfectly legitimate word, and I suppose she uses it honestly, but dude, those look like art and how-to books to me. Not "volumes," which suggests, I don't know, weightier tomes. And why didn't she just say "tomes"? It's a much cooler word.

"These are some of the tomes that make up the art and how-to section of my book collection. Not seen in this photo: my collection of rare and esoteric volumes on the many different types and the fascinating history of knitting needles..."