If I was at work today, as I will be tomorrow, I would be gearing up to be leaving in 67 minutes.
Instead, I am still enjoying a quiet, hot day. Funny, I went out for a couple of hours (Worst. Facial. Ever.) and left the AC in the living room on for the cats (I don't usually use it when I'm home, but it the cats can't be left home alone with all the doors open, now can they), and when I got home, none of them were in the living room (the coolest part of the house). Instead, they were all cuddled up on the fleece bed thing I had moved to the bed.
Hot kitties.
Yesterday (all my troubles seemed so far away!) was spent with my parents and my brother's boyfriend, whose birthday it was. I gave him a City Garage passport (4 shows for the price of 3! Get yours today!), which he didn't know he wanted but seemed glad to have. Afterwards I headed off to do the show. Same old junky CD player, but I was told that all went well on Saturday while I was off celebrating ten years of wedded bliss. Charles was on hand in case it acted up again, which, thankfully, it did not. Though, he made a comment that seemed funny to me: I've always been very careful about the tracks and have made notations about how long each audio cue is, because the CD player would automatically cue the next track at the end of the last one - so I would be watching so I could hit pause before the wrong cue could play. No big deal, just part of the job, right? Apparently - no. Charles said it's not supposed to do that, but is instead supposed to pause for two minutes between tracks. Since when, I wanted to ask? but instead just said, "Huh!" As in, "silly me, didn't know that." Oh, well.
I think he's getting a new deck this week. And the show ran perfectly.
Since yesterday I have been in a bit of a funk. It could be because it's sooo damn hot. It could be because I am grappling with the idea of No More Flute Lessons. I know I pretty much made the decision to quit months ago, and that I finally discussed it with my teacher, giving the the whole thing an air of finality, but god, it's weird. My friend Bo said to me on Friday night, because we were discussing the two new City Garage members who are graduating from Cal Arts soon, "What would you be like if you'd gone to Cal Arts?" And Bo is not the type of person to normally play the "what if" game (and believe me, I know this from personal experience), so you know, it threw me a little. I'd rather not think about it. I mean, maybe I would've ran out of money, or flunked out, or had no friends or just sucked at it. God knows school is not something I excelled at in the past.
I think what we have here is a little bit of the old "wasted time" syndrome that I fall into every once in awhile. It's not fun for me, and boy, I bet you're glad to read about it. I'm not sure if it's the same as feeling sorry for yourself or what. Maybe it is.
Whatever it is, I think I can cure it right now with some ice cream.
Yep. Ice cream.
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